God first instituted marriage in the Garden of Eden. We see this in Genesis 2. God first made Adam and placed him in the Garden. To Adam he gave the responsibility of naming all the animals. While Adam could name and know the animals, he could not know himself for he was not yet complete. None of the animals were suitable helpers for Adam, therefore God fashioned Eve. When Adam sees Eve he feels a sense of union with her and he says:
This one, at last, is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
This one shall be called ‘woman,’
for out of man this one has been taken.
Thus with the creation of Eve, Adam knew who he was. He found his completion in her, his divine assistance, his wife. This is the first basis for marriage, that the spouse finds his or her completion in the other. Also, take note of this next verse:
The man and his wife were both naked, yet they felt no shame.
Adam and Eve were one, both in flesh and in spirit, therefore they could feel no shame together. What had was holy and pure.
Marriage, being a union of immense beauty, is something that the Devil cannot tolerate. He wants our marriages to fail, because marriage is a road toward sanctification. Through the temptation of Eve, Satan brought sin into the world. Sin brings division, not just between man and God, but also between husband and wife. Due to this rift they felt shame, and they had to hide themselves from the other. The union was damaged.
We also see in Genesis 3 the start of one of the largest challenges to marriage that exists today. When Adam was asked if he had eaten from the forbidden tree, he replied saying:
The woman whom you put here with me—she gave me fruit from the tree, so I ate it.
Adam not only blames his wife, he blames God. One of the first fruits of sin is self-deception, which leads to self-righteousness. Adam could not take responsibility for his actions; he had to place the blame somewhere. This problem still exists today. When there is sin in a marriage, the marriage falls apart, and the only way back is through repentance.
Now how do we get back to what was lost in the Garden? The answer to this question comes in two parts. First, let us look at Song of Songs. Song of Songs is a beautiful description of the love that exists between man and wife, but I want to focus on one particular theme. Many times throughout Song of Songs, the Hebrew word for desire is used. The man's desire is for his wife, and the wife's desire is for her husband. This same word for desire is seen also in Genesis 3:
Yet your urge shall be for your husband,
and he shall rule over you.
Notice the difference. Song of Songs speaks of a desire that is co-equal. It seeks to return to the balance that was lost through sin. This desire is also something much more than physical. It is a covenantal desire for the whole person, body and soul. Thus we have the second basis for marriage. The love between spouses must be covenantal and personal.
Now for the second part of the answer I want to look at the end of the Gospel of Luke when Jesus appears on the road to Emmaus which I shall include here:
Now that very day two of them were going to a village seven miles from Jerusalem called Emmaus,
and they were conversing about all the things that had occurred.
And it happened that while they were conversing and debating, Jesus himself drew near and walked with them,
but their eyes were prevented from recognizing him.
He asked them, “What are you discussing as you walk along?” They stopped, looking downcast.
One of them, named Cleopas, said to him in reply, “Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know of the things that have taken place there in these days?”
And he replied to them, “What sort of things?” They said to him, “The things that happened to Jesus the Nazarene, who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people,
how our chief priests and rulers both handed him over to a sentence of death and crucified him.
But we were hoping that he would be the one to redeem Israel; and besides all this, it is now the third day since this took place.
m Some women from our group, however, have astounded us: they were at the tomb early in the morning
and did not find his body; they came back and reported that they had indeed seen a vision of angels who announced that he was alive.
Then some of those with us went to the tomb and found things just as the women had described, but him they did not see.”
And he said to them, “Oh, how foolish you are! How slow of heart to believe all that the prophets spoke!
Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer* these things and enter into his glory?”
Then beginning with Moses and all the prophets, he interpreted to them what referred to him in all the scriptures.
As they approached the village to which they were going, he gave the impression that he was going on farther.
But they urged him, “Stay with us, for it is nearly evening and the day is almost over.” So he went in to stay with them.
And it happened that, while he was with them at table, he took bread, said the blessing, broke it, and gave it to them.
With that their eyes were opened and they recognized him, but he vanished from their sight.
Then they said to each other, “Were not our hearts burning [within us] while he spoke to us on the way and opened the scriptures to us?”
So they set out at once and returned to Jerusalem where they found gathered together the eleven and those with them
who were saying, “The Lord has truly been raised and has appeared to Simon!”
Then the two recounted what had taken place on the way and how he was made known to them in the breaking of the bread.
At first glance, this passage does not seem to have anything to do with marriage, but if we look a bit deeper, it most certainly does. Luke only identifies one of the members of the party Jesus appeared to. Cleopas, the man identified by Luke, was one of those who stood at the cross. He was there with his wife, Mary. I believe that Mary is the one traveling with him, and for several reasons. First, this appearance happens on Easter Sunday, and being faithful Jews Cleopas and Mary would have waited till after the Sabbath to travel home due to it being so far from Jerusalem. Second, when they reached Emmaus Jesus is asked to stay with the travelers at their home. Now in that time, unrelated men would not usually live together, nor would unrelated women, so it is most likely that they are a married couple. My third reason however is the one that brings the most meaning to this example:
And it happened that, while he was with them at table, he took bread, said the blessing, broke it, and gave it to them.
With that their eyes were opened and they recognized him, but he vanished from their sight.
Does not this sound familiar. "With that their eyes were opened." There is one other meal in all of Scripture that is said to have done this. It occurs within Genesis 3:
The woman saw that the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eyes, and the tree was desirable for gaining wisdom. So she took some of its fruit and ate it; and she also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made loincloths for themselves.
Marriage was damaged by the eating of the fruit of the tree of death, Jesus once again sanctified marriage through the fruit of the tree of life, the Eucharist. In all of our marriages we must keep this at heart. We must keep Christ's sacrificial love at the center of marriage and we must emulate that love always. If we loved with a truly selfless, sacrificial love, marriage would be stronger than ever.
In summary, marriage unites man and wife as one flesh with a covenantal, personal and sacrificial love. That is if the marriage is true and blessed by God of course.
Please let me know what you thought of this post. I would love to continue speaking on it.
